Shyness

I just read this article about shyness (here). Lately I have been concerned about Kaitlyn's shyness, not because I want a loud extroverted child, but I don't want her to miss opportunities to have fun and make friends. We were at this birthday party Saturday and birthday's are a normal place for her to get embarrassingly shy. Large crowds of unfamiliar people have always been tough for her. I don't blame her on that but I need to teach her to assimilate rather than crawl under my skirt (which has happened!). We arrived and the first thing she did was want me to hold her. The first activity was freeze dance and she wanted hide in the corner. As a formerly shy child, I feel that she wants to join in and have fun but doesn't quite know how and of course I don't know how to encourage her. I can remember going to school and playing by myself or with one other person in the corner. I remember not wanting to put on the fireman's pants because that would make me the center of attention. I remember at my first middle school dance feeling uncomfortable at everybody dancing in a circle. All of these things I wanted to do but I didn't want to break out of my shell to do it.

Kaitlyn has many sweet personality traits and I don't want to change her. I truly embrace her innocence and loving heart. I mean she's a mini-me! The article I linked to says, "other children compete for attention and shy girls bestow it." That couldn't be more true in Kaitlyn's case. If you touch her heart one time, she will never forget you. She knows books are for mommy, Bojangles is for daddy, Saturday's are for Grandma, Aunt Sharon and Leslie can do braids, Lucy gives kisses. I just hope that I can instill confidence in her and help her to not miss out on making memories just because she doesn't know how to act. I knew that freeze dance was not up her alley and I didn't try to push her into it. I stood there with her and we silly danced in the corner. I did make her ask Woody for a balloon and watch the magic show. In situations with adults, I tell her to please speak to people when spoken too and hold my hand if she's nervous. Really, this hasn't helped. At parties, I try to pick one person she knows and just do what they are doing. After freeze dance was over she was better at staying with the group of kids but she definitely stayed quiet and to herself. I am pretty concerned about this right now because, like I said, I don't want her to spend the next 20 years missing out on all the fun. In case you are wondering, I came out of my shell sometime around 25! Do you have any suggestions? I'm searching for a couple books to read right now so we'll see how all this turns out!